Ever thought you were completely failing at this parent thing?

Yep at some point we all do something and think "I'm the worst parent ever" let's be honest we do it more than we care to admit. I know I do! 

Are you really a bad parent when you get frustrated because you have said the same thing 10 times and the kids (or as I like to call them minions) haven't listened? No your not. Being a parent is an amazing blessing and we all know this but we can't help it sometimes we think our head may just explode. Sometimes I'd like to throw myself in the floor and spin around on my head like the kids do and pitch an epic fit. It's like I'm battling with a mini me 24/7. They are so headstrong and stubborn and I don't want them to lose that, I just wish they wouldn't use it on me!

Tons of people will give you advice on how to handle this and how to raise your kids (most won't have children and have no idea of what it's really like) yes they are trying to help. It's also not completley unreasonable to want to roll your eyes at them or maybe cram a sock in their mouth, just don't actually do it. I'm not going to give you advice on how to raise your kids because every child and every parent is different. What I am going to do is tell you your not alone . 

 It's true as a mother I think I have completely failed atleast once a week maybe even once a day! I'm beginning to realize it's common for parents to do this.  Our society has put so many do's and don'ts on parenthood who knows which way is up? One day you hear if you formula feed your a bad mother, the next you hear that saying "no" is to harsh then, you hear if you breastfeed to long your a bad mother and you should be stricter on your kids.

When does it stop!? 

Honestly it probably won't, if you are doing your best and keeping your kids healthy, safe,clean and fed your doing great!  Yes we should always strive to be better and we do but we have to accept we are not perfect and never will be. Do your best and don't listen to what society thinks you should do, I mean look at the state it's in! 

Be the best mom or dad you can be and love your children with all your heart and you will do fine. It's ok to get stressed and need a break, if you need a break take it. 

Ps next time you think your a weird parent think of this. Angelina Jolie keeps all her kids used bandaids in a jar. 

Broken trust

How can you gain trust back in a relationship? 

First you have to be completely honest and come clean to everything, yes every thing. Give your spouse time to process everything.

Then if your spouse is still wanting to work through this with you, you are going to have to answer their questions even though some may be hard. Depending on your spouse they may want every detail of every lie or they may not. Just be ready to answer everything openly, honestly, and calmly. Some of your answers may hurt your spouse but answer honestly. Your spouse will also keep asking questions for a while, it may get aggravating but be patient.

Let your spouse know from this point forward you will be honest and open about everything. Set aside time to just sit and talk daily. Your going to have to show your spouse they can trust you, even little white lies will seem huge to them. Trust is one of the easiest things to lose and the hardest to gain. After you lie your partner will no longer believe your words only your actions so be sure to show your love and affection. 

Make an effort to include your spouse in your life 100%. Talk to them in detail about your day and how you feel the usual "good" or "ok" will make them wonder what your hiding even if your not hiding anything.

 In marriage you should be partners and have no secrets. Be an open book to each other and talk.

Cheating

What is cheating? Is it only sex? No, cheating can be emotional or physical. If you've planned out how you could cheat and who you would cheat with then you've already crossed a very dangerous line. When you plan how and who you've already cheated. I know that sounds extreme but when you think about it to that extent your heart has already cheated and you've already put a wedge between you and your partner. 

Sure looking at another woman/man and finding them attractive is normal, but once you cross the line into how you can do it and get away with it you need to talk to your partner and confess. Work through it together to find a solution. 

Your partner is going to want to know why? Be patient and talk calmly about it. Your partner is going to be hurt and need to ask questions and they will need an explanation. Yes it's hard! 

You may ask why confess? Why go through all the trouble if your partner will never know?

Well they will know I'm a marriage you can not keep secrets, they put a wedge between you and the one you love even if your loved one is in the dark. You know you did it and when your hiding something you can't give your all to someone. A marriage will only last so long with secrets.